I now believe that I am caught between two extremes which are wide apart from each other. As if I am stuck in the middle of a traffic that neither begins flowing nor gives me a hope that it would break in a while. Moreover, that thought scares me too in a way. It generates a fear that I would not excel in my life or least expect something happier out of it. The title ”thinking the new me” explains that I am or I wasn’t the same as currently. Now, saying that I find my physical self being different from my spiritual self, in other words I don’t find the default connection between these two parts of myself. As if my body is not capable of supporting my mental values or mental status.
Meanwhile, looking at this thought from a different perspective it seems though as if that belief contains something sad; like there’s something depressive about it. Maybe because I spent about four years of my life and experiences in depression and the thought emerges from those depressive corners of mine. Yet, that’s how it is these days.